


Who I Am Exactly

by ProtoNeoRomantic



Series: I Want Another First Kiss [27]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Being Found, Bisexual Erasure, Bisexual Female Character, Bisexuality, Canon Bisexual Character, Caught, Episode: s06e08 Tabula Rasa, F/F, F/M, First Kiss, Forgetting Spell, Hiding, Impending Death, Last Kiss, Magic, Manipulation, POV Bisexual Character, POV Female Character, Partner Betrayal, Present Tense, Rescue, Temporary Amnesia, the things we know that ain't so
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-13
Updated: 2015-04-13
Packaged: 2018-03-22 15:52:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3734623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProtoNeoRomantic/pseuds/ProtoNeoRomantic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A "First" Kiss Willow and 'Alex' might have shared in Season Six, after their slates were wiped clean. (6 of 7)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Who I Am Exactly

Everyone scatters, scrambling to hide from the vampire. It just so happens that she ends up in the same pipe with Alex, separated from the other girls. She is pressed against him, breathing him in, closer and stronger than the sewer stench. He smells like the jacket, reminding her that 'Alex' (whoever he he) already has a claim on 'Willow' (whoever she is). He smells... right to her, like a boyfriend. He _feels_ right to her, in spite of the sense she'd gotten earlier that she might not be a boyfriend-having kind of girl. 

Death, she panics silently. They are so near death, and she cannot remember ever kissing anyone, which suddenly seems very, very wrong. She catches his eye. Nothing needs to be said. Their lips meet. Their lips part. Open, not separate. The kiss deepens. The world falls away. Their bodies shift in their unconscious effort to defy the laws of physics by occupying the exact same space. Something inside 'Willow's' heart swells. Something inside her pocket crunches. 

Xander's eyes widen. He remembers everything and so does Willow. Back to the first day of kindergarten and playing doctor 'wrong'. Forward through 'my guy friend who knows about girl stuff' and through 'but I didn't choose yet'. Through 'no more fluking' and 'exception for impending death situation.' Their lips part, this time the other kind. Everything is muddled between the looks on Oz and Cordelia's faces then and the looks Tara and Anya aren't quite close enough to give them now. But the vampire of now is much, much closer than Spike was then, and there is no time for getting (or deserving) looks to matter. Death is still impending.

Suddenly, it impends a lot harder. The vampire sticks its head in their pipe and growls. “Incenderé!” Tara shouts behind him. When the smoke clears an instant later, she is there, holding hands with Dawn, who looks stunned yet triumphant. But Tara's look is something else. So much 'how could you' and 'I should have known' that Willow and Xander scramble guiltily apart. But that gets its own angrily defeated head shake, as something she hadn't known until their guiltiness had shown her. 

Xander laughs, then makes a lame excuse for laughing, though any fool could see the deep, black devastating ways in which this tragedy is funny. Willow feels a flash of resentment, not at Xander but at Tara. Because the look she has earned is heavy enough without the 'how dare you not fit my paradigm' look being piled on top of it. 'Would it be any better if it was Buffy?!' She wants to shout. 'Scream at me for betraying you. Leave me for lying. Kill me for screwing with your head. But please don't glare at me for _that_.'


End file.
